Happy Days in May 1 - Uggies!

So, a few days ago I was reading a few different blogs, as I do, and saw that Naomi Ellis at Seven Cherubs is running a project called 'Happy Days in May'. 

Soooo, this is day 1 for me and everyone else who is joining in. Here is my sentence for today.

Today the ugg boots my husband bought for me online arrived, just as I was thinking I should put my shoes and socks on because my feet were cold!

It's always good to have an extra reason to look for the good things that happen in your day :)

P.S. It's NOT too late to join in :)

Being Kind to You!

In my last blog I wrote about how we need to judge each other less, be more understanding, and realise that we don't always understand the reasons why people do the things they do... You can read about it here


Today I want to talk about the fact that we should apply this kindness to ourselves. I will be brief and to the point.


Sometimes we are hard on ourselves and spend a lot time worrying about the things are failing at... we feel like we are the only ones who don't manage; whether it be in managing your child/ren's behaviour, keeping house, or getting time do do YOU things. Unless I am the only one, we too often fail to take in to consideration that we are in different circumstances to the person we are judging ourselves by... one example for me is that sometimes I feel guilty that it is often my friends who call me for a catch up, and I don't often seem to manage to call them before they call me. This is not because I don't want to see them but, as one such friend pointed out, simply because my hands are tied (figuratively) by the nature of being a mum. So I needn't tell myself that I'm not a good friend, that's just my circumstance right now. In years to come when all my children are in school and they have young kiddies at home, perhaps the tides will turn :)


Also, don't judge your worst day by someone else's best day, ok? :D


Be kind to you.

Different, not wrong.

Lately I have noticed an upsetting trend: mothers (and people in general) sometimes have a particular way of doing things, and they become so set in this that any other way is 'wrong'. I have seen debates on various forums ranging from the classic 'breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding' debate to 'how old is too old to have your child in a stroller'. It's ridiculous to see the way some people will say, "I can't believe you would do that" about the silliest things. Seriously, how does something as simple as when to ween your child from a dummy (and indeed, whether to use one at all) become so controversial?

In addition to this I also read an article recently from a mother basically apologising to all the mothers she judged before she had her own children and it got me to thinking that sometimes it's not as simple as one way is right and the other is wrong. It's just that there are two different ways of doing things. It's a shame that we (whether intentionally or subconsciously) judge each other's decisions. To be clear, there are of course some situations where things are definitely right or wrong; using proper child restraints and not abusing your child, etc. but these situations are fewer than the former.


An example: It's bed time for your youngster but their room/play area is a mess. Some parents would consider bed time more important, others would put a higher value on getting the child to be part of the household by helping to clean up first. Neither is wrong, it just depends what you value more.


I really think we need to be more supportive of one another and recognise that we don't always know the reason behind why a person does something a particular way. I'm also not suggesting that it's bad to give or receive parenting advice... but there is a difference between that and telling someone that you do things better than them. By all means listen to someone's advice, but in the end you know what is best for you and your family.

I remember one day doing a bit of grocery shopping and it was a rare occasion where we decided Jonathan would stay home with the kids while I went... there was a woman walking up and down the aisles at the same time as me. She had a young'n and he was relatively good but being a bit noisy, and she kept looking at me as though she thought I must be annoyed by this. After a while I said, "It's fun shopping with kids isn't it". After that she seemed a lot more relaxed and I was surprised by how something so simple can make us all feel better about these kind of stressful situations instead of feeling like we are the only one who doesn't manage things like that very well.


I think that each of us have things which we do for our sanity that might not be as important to someone else too. For me one example of that is having baby gates that prevent our kids getting in to the kitchen. This is something that I do for my sanity so that I an clean or prepare food without having to worry about whether my daughter is climbing up on the table, pulling all my clean dishes out or grabbing a knife from the drawer! It's not about restricting her freedom, but eliminating an unnecessary stress. Other mothers might have different ways of dealing with this situation and that's ok too.


More or less people, take care of each other - and when you see that tired looking woman in the shopping centre towing around the toddler who's having a tantrum... maybe you could smile and say, "hang in there."

I'd love to hear about the things you do to prevent common situations becoming stressful :) and how an onlookers attitude has influenced how you've felt at these times.

My Alice Trip

View from the plane

 I thought I'd give you all a little taste of my trip to visit my sister and her family! It really is a beautiful place. Of course, my favourite part was spending time with the Cox family but we did visit some pretty beautiful places.
On Tuesday (the 20th) when I arrived Chantelle was there with Isabelle and Keira. Izzy squealed with excitement to see me :D but took a while before she wanted to give me hugs, etc. She asked about Kathryn (our sister, her Aunty) and her boys as well as Jonathan and Natalie then and many times throughout my stay. Chany had obviously been telling her girls lots that their Aunties would be visiting soon and their excitement obviously mirrored hers (I feel loved).

I'm here

It is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I think you feel that more keenly when you finally get to be with the people you've been absent from. It's such a joyful feeling :) Spending time with my sister was such a blessing. She is one of my best friends! It was soooo nice just to be able to sit and chat side-by-side like we have in days gone by. When he wasn't at work it was also cool to spend time with my brother-in-law too. Even if he still whipped us girls in Trivial Pursuit. Of course my beautiful nieces got me wrapped around their fingers pretty quickly. Enchanting they are! 

Ellery Creek Big Hole

As well as the joys of being with loved ones, my holiday also gave me the opportunity to see some beautiful sights. These pictures are only a few of the things I saw. Of course the photos don't really do them justice. It was pretty hard to capture the tranquility really... It was beautiful just on the road to these places, let alone what we saw when we actually got there. I even got to see a dingo, though we couldn't get  a good shot of it by the time we stopped the car and got our cameras out. 

Glen Helen Gorge

So, this trip has reinforced to me two things. 

• I love my family and I miss them. Why do you so many of you live so far away, huh? (In the event that we ever end up moving somewhere else to live, I will have to apologise for my hypocrisy.)
• I really want to travel and see more of the beauty in this world (but where to begin?)

Thanks for having me to visit and showing me around lovelies! xo

View from Anzac Hill

Do you have family that live abroad and what do you do to stay connected?

The thoughts that kept me up tonight

Having one of those night where I knew I wouldn't sleep until I'd gotten my thoughts on to paper (or the screen). Here they are, largely unedited.

I was lying in bed thinking about whether or not I measure up to the kind of wife and mother I planned to be when I was a teenager. I realise that I didn’t understand when I was 17, 18, what is truly important… or what adult, married, parenting life is like. I realise now that it’s not so important that your house is always immaculate and that you and the children can all be dressed and ready to go by 9 if need be. Your success as a wife and mother isn’t actually defined by whether dinner is ready to be served the moment your husband gets home from work. (If you are managing these things, what is your secret?) I’m realising that I need to redefine what wife and mother means to me.

Is it really so bad if some days, we stay at home in our pyjamas all day? Am I failing because I usually don’t get round to tidying the kitchen until it’s impossible to work in or someone is coming over (and sometimes not even then).  [Thanks for taking care of that wonderful husband!] Not that I don’t think the housekeeping bit is important, but there must be more to it than that. There is, and if I can’t manage both yet, I’d rather have a happy family than a perpetually clean and tidy house.

Also I don’t think it’s a matter of being the right person for the job when it comes to being a wife and mother. It’s really a matter of it being the right job to turn you in to the person you need to be. I wasn’t chosen for these experiences because I had the right qualifications. I was chosen to have these experiences to qualify for the greatest gifts. I’m not a mother blessed with children because I’m patient, wise and can suffer sleep deprivation without going slightly crazy. It is motherhood that is teaching me to be a little more patient and understanding, find wise solutions to tricky problems and stay calm when I’m almost burnt out.. I’m not saying I’m totally there yet, but I can pretty well guess that’s part of the point of this role and life in general.

I decided a while ago that I didn’t know what life was like until I was living it more for others (namely: Jonathan, Natalie and Hayley) than I was for myself.

And so, I hope to keep learning and coming closer to being the wife and mother that my wonderful husband and children truly deserve.  I’m grateful to know that I wasn’t sent here to be perfect, but to be moulded into something that will… one day far into eternity, be perfect. :D

So this is my role: to grow!

How do you define your role as a family member?

Something, but not everything

No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.
Nice little mantra :)


I have recently decided that in the past I have spent way too much time worrying about the fact that I couldn't be everything for everyone. I think most people probably have this tendency to feel poorly about ourselves when we don't meet another persons expectations or the unrealistic expectations that we set for ourselves.


Let's face it: there are only 24 hours in a day. There's only so much you can do in that time. There's only so much you can do and still be a sane person. Or is that just me? You can try to do everything that everyone would like you to do if you want, but I find that, by and by, it drives me nuts!


Newsflash: People are actually pretty good when you truthfully say, "Sorry, I'd love to help, but I just don't have the time/resources/energy right now." I have also come to realise that if they do mind or continue to demand, there's probably an imbalance in that relationship. 


Here are a few things you should do:


Say yes - when you are able and especially where your help will really benefit someone else. The greatest 
fulfilment I have experienced in life has not been in doing things for myself. (Not saying that you never should by the way.) The greatest fulfilment I have experienced has been in doing something for someone else. Whether that be my husband, children, other family or friends. It makes me happy to see a smile... especially on the face of someone I care for, and more especially when I put that smile there.


Say no - when you can't. Whether that be due to lack of time, lack of resources, or just because you don't have the headspace to do what someone is asking of you. Try not to incriminate yourself for it, but remember that by not burning yourself out you're going to be more useful later.


Prioritise - identify those things/people in your life that are of most worth to you and that deserve your greatest attention. If those people are happy and those things taken care of first, the rest will fall in around that or fall away if they really didn't matter in the first place. Remember as David O. McKay said, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." 


Take a break - because you deserve it. Picture yourself as a bucket full of water. As you go about doing things for others you tip a little of that water out for them. Fill yourself up before you run empty. Enough said.


So, to summarise... trying to be everything for everyone and never giving yourself a break will drive you insane. If it's possible to take a step back from the people who are driving you nuts - do it! For your sanity and for their protection :P

Decisions, decisions

December 31, 2008... Jonathan and I are walking through Botanic Park, when he stops to 'tie his shoelaces'. I (correctly) surmise that this is a pretence to get on one knee and do the scariest thing he had done to date: ask me to marry him. The thought crosses my mind that I should keep walking and make him a) chase me, and/or b) find another opportunity where he may have to be more obvious about his intentions :P  Instead I sympathise with the guts it took to get this far in the first place and I stand... trying not to look to expectant and failing epically.


The rest is history as they say, but it led to an interesting conversation on the way to church today: how great is the impact of one decision on the experiences you will have for the rest of your life?


Lets say I had kept walking... Jonathan would have had to come up with a new scenario for proposing... he supposes that he might have waited until Valentines day one and a half months later (although if I know Jonathan he wouldn't have been able to wait that long). Nevertheless it certainly would have been later which would likely mean that our wedding date would have been later than May 16... if that was the case, we'd have missed the chance to apply to the first house we lived in and lived somewhere else. Our daughters would have arrived later (possibly Hayley wouldn't even be here yet!) and I would have been working longer at my last workplace. These are just a few of the examples of things that would have been different for us if I had made that seemingly simple decision. Boy am I glad I played fair that day!


I hope that the choices I make every day will be ones that bless those around me and lead me to greater happiness. I pray that I'll always have the courage to choose what is right, even when it's not easy.

What are some of the big impact decisions in your life?