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Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Something, but not everything

No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.
Nice little mantra :)

I have recently decided that in the past I have spent way too much time worrying about the fact that I couldn't be everything for everyone. I think most people probably have this tendency to feel poorly about ourselves when we don't meet another persons expectations or the unrealistic expectations that we set for ourselves.

Let's face it: there are only 24 hours in a day. There's only so much you can do in that time. There's only so much you can do and still be a sane person. Or is that just me? You can try to do everything that everyone would like you to do if you want, but I find that, by and by, it drives me nuts!

Newsflash: People are actually pretty good when you truthfully say, "Sorry, I'd love to help, but I just don't have the time/resources/energy right now." I have also come to realise that if they do mind or continue to demand, there's probably an imbalance in that relationship. 

Here are a few things you should do:

Say yes - when you are able and especially where your help will really benefit someone else. The greatest 
fulfilment I have experienced in life has not been in doing things for myself. (Not saying that you never should by the way.) The greatest fulfilment I have experienced has been in doing something for someone else. Whether that be my husband, children, other family or friends. It makes me happy to see a smile... especially on the face of someone I care for, and more especially when I put that smile there.

Say no - when you can't. Whether that be due to lack of time, lack of resources, or just because you don't have the headspace to do what someone is asking of you. Try not to incriminate yourself for it, but remember that by not burning yourself out you're going to be more useful later.

Prioritise - identify those things/people in your life that are of most worth to you and that deserve your greatest attention. If those people are happy and those things taken care of first, the rest will fall in around that or fall away if they really didn't matter in the first place. Remember as David O. McKay said, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." 

Take a break - because you deserve it. Picture yourself as a bucket full of water. As you go about doing things for others you tip a little of that water out for them. Fill yourself up before you run empty. Enough said.

So, to summarise... trying to be everything for everyone and never giving yourself a break will drive you insane. If it's possible to take a step back from the people who are driving you nuts - do it! For your sanity and for their protection :P

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