#reverb12 Days 19 - 30

More answers to the #reverb12 challenge:



Day 19 - How did you nourish your beautiful body in 2012? What self-care practices will you take with you into 2013?

Hmm.. I can't say I've done a LOT of caring for my body this year, or in the past generally... but I did start seeing the chiropractor - does that count? It's my way of caring about myself instead of always ignoring all the aches and pains (and there tend to be a lot of them)!

For the new year I want to either get a bike or do a lot more walking! That is difficult since we don't really live in comfortable walking distance of much now and it also means a lot more time management issues... but if the weather is ok, we can just walk for the sake of it when we've got nowhere else to be.  :)



Day 20 - What was lost in 2012? What do you intend to find in 2013?

Lost in 2012? I'm not really sure how to answer this question... I think I lost a lot of self-doubt - that's a good loss!

In 2013 I intend to find more time for other people. I feel that in 2012 I've been so caught up in only just managing my own life - the sweet and not so sweet bits - that I haven't had / found enough opportunities to be there for other people. I'm becoming more aware of this need within myself to know how I can bless others and follow through on that too. :) I have been so blessed by love - the love of family and friends, and through them God's love - and, knowing how it has enriched my life, I honestly want to be able to give that back to the people around me.


Day 21 - What items did you tick off your dream list in 2012? What other, unexpected, dreams came to fruition? What are the top three items on your dream list for 2013?

I think I did more surviving than achieving dreams this year, and I am ok with that! I have done a fair bit of goal setting in the past few months though. I don't know which (if any) of these will come to complete fruition in 2013, but they are things I will be working toward:

- Finishing my SACE

- Doing grade 7 and 8 piano exams and then getting my diploma!

- Jonathan and I will also be working toward buying a house :)

Day 22 - What was the greatest gift you received in 2012? What was the greatest gift you gave? What do you intend to give yourself in 2013?

This year I received the gift of friendship in great abundance. It has been such a blessing to have new friendships develop as well as a strengthening of continuing friendships. I've also been trying to give that same gift to those around me. It is a gift that blesses the giver as well as the receiver! ... and sometimes (more often than not?) you are on both ends of the equation at once! :D

The gift that I intend to give myself in 2013 is... grace. That's all about not expecting perfection all the time - but I've spoken plenty about that so I'll leave it for now. :)

Day 23 - Name three excuses -- stories you tell yourself that are holding you back -- that you are going to let go of in 2013.

Personally, I think I'm pretty good at not giving myself excuses...

Off the top of my head, I do want to stop excusing myself for not taking good enough care of my own body though. As I have mentioned before, I'm going to need it for the rest of my life! So I do need to look at how I'm going to put physical exercise in to my week and how I can further improve my eating habits.



Day 24 - What is the single most important habit you intend to cultivate in 2013?

Single most important? This is another one that I'm struggling to find an answer for... One that I know is important and I need to develop further is the idea of mindfulness or intentionality: being in and enjoying the blessing of the moment. In the past I know I have spent far too much time rushing on to the next thing so that I can conquer that 'to-do list' and not nearly enough time just enjoying everything that is around me. Time to change.



Day 25 - How will you be vulnerable?

The soft white underbelly, the flaw in the armor, the Achilles' heel -- weaknesses are what make us the most human, the most beautiful.
Next year, how will you tend to your vulnerabilities? How will you build them a shelter from the storm? How will you put them through physical therapy? How will you find a way to make them work to your advantage? 

I have issues with vulnerability. I'm not comfortable with it at all. I have always tended to avoid it at all costs. I've had this habit of not even admitting to myself when there are things in my life that are causing me grief/anxiety, etc... Honestly, I know a couple of people who I feel seemed to realise when I was unhappy before I'd even acknowledged it myself... and I would persist in saying that I was perfectly fine - all to avoid vulnerability I suppose.

In 2013, and now, I will be working on trust. Trust in other people will be a shelter of sorts. Fortunately I have a husband who, over the past four years that I've known him, I have learnt to trust and I do confide in. I know I could, if I were willing, extend that trust to others and I intend to do so when I have that need.

And here I am splashing out my vulnerability on to your computer screen!

Day 26 - How do you intend to carve out more time for the things that are the most important to you in 2013?

I have learned, primarily through the example and encouragement of my husband, the importance of goal setting. I've often heard him say, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail" (or something of the sort).

In 2013 I will be continuing the habit of setting goals and planning for the things that I want to achieve!


Day 27 - How did you make time for creativity in 2012?

Looking back, is there one creative time or one particular creation that stands out for you? (Maybe you could share it here?) How will you continue (or start) making time and space for your creative passions in 2013?

I didn't get to share it with many people, but this Christmas season I wrote an arrangement to one of my favourite Christmas Hymns and I would have to say I'm quite happy with it! It was a fun and rewarding process and I do hope that I will one day have the opportunity to use it and hear it come to life. :)

Since my piano lessons finished for the year (my teacher always breaks over the Christmas holidays) I haven't been practising the piano much at all, but I intend to start that again this week. I want to progress so I make time for it everyday even if that means getting up really early.



Day 28 - Think of three things that daunted you in 2012: how are you going to work towards overcoming them in 2013?

I am enjoying the process of #reveb12... but some of these questions are really hard to answer. I guess that's the point though - you have to really reflect.

Hmm. Sometimes my older daughter's behaviour is quite daunting. My emotions have been daunting at times. :P 'Keeping up' has been daunting too. Maybe I'm not thinking very hard about this question (the 'catch up' on answering them has been time consuming) but they have all daunted me at one time or another. 

I think with anything that daunts you you have to either come up with strategies to change / deal with the situation... or you have to embrace it. Some things that are daunting aren't actually bad, and once you accept them they can become beautiful.



Day 29 - What word did you select to be your travelling companion in 2012? What gifts did this word bring? What word will you choose to guide you through 2013? What do you hope it will bring into your life?

I didn't pick a word specifically for 2012... some words that come to mind that followed me throughout the year are: grow, change and intentional. Intentional has been one of the most important.

For 2013 I would like to use the word courage. Courage to hold fast to moral values. I want to remember that wrong is wrong no matter who is doing it, and that right is right no matter who isn't doing it and to say how I feel.

I want to be remember to be bold - immediately and not at the last possible moment, which is sometimes too late anyway. I want to have courage that will make it easier to stand up for others and to stand alone when I have to. That courage may be borne of knowing that I am never alone anyway.

I hope this courage will also help me to try new things, and to persevere in achieving my goals even in those difficult moments when those goals seem unattainable.

Day 30 - Often we see our life as a humongous journey, and we believe that not only have we not arrived at our far away desired destination, but we also think we must accomplish x, y, and z, before we can declare with satisfaction that we are THERE.
For a moment, take a close look at who you are NOW. See what you can declare.
Merge the past, present, and future into one big ARRIVAL.
Describe joyously and in great celebration the BEING that you ARE. 
(If you like, try writing this in third person as if you were a news reporter and this article about you is appearing in a publication you love and respect.)

Simply, I have arrived at being happy. I don't think that requires a lot of words to explain.
Yes, there are things that are uncomfortable in life. Yes, I have imperfections - there are things I need to change. But the difficult things don't define my life. My imperfections don't define me....

and I can be happy!

Reverb '12 days 9 and 10

What was the best book you read in 2012, and why? (And by "Why?" I mean: Why did you read it? And why was it your favourite? Although these answers could be one and the same...!)

So, initially I wasn't even going to answer this question because I couldn't think of much I had read this year, but as I went to write a comment to that effect I did think of one!

Going with books I hadn't read prior to this year, the best thing I've read was Learning Dispositions. When I began reading it and attending the class where I got it, I really didn't think it would be as big a deal to me as it ended up being. But it ended up being the best book for me because it has really helped me a lot as a mother. I can look at behaviour that we tend to think of as 'naughty' and I can now be a lot calmer while still setting boundaries and see what my daughters are trying to communicate, as well as how I might better direct them to put their Purposefulness and Persistence or Confidence or Resourcefulness, etc. to a positive use. I can see that all behaviour has meaning and I know what I can do to help them develop skills that will benefit them throughout their lives and help them be life long learners.

It's really hard to explain just what this book has given me as a parent, but it has given me a lot.



What was the greatest risk you took in 2012? What was the outcome?

Another difficult question to answer.. and even as I began typing this I didn't know what the answer wiould be... and now I this is the question I don't want to answer, but in the spirit of my thoughts about this question, I guess I will!

It's really been a less risky year than other recent years for me... 2009 I got married and in 2010 and 2011 I gave birth... this year nothing major like that, lol!

I guess I have taken a different type of risk this year... in being more open about my experiences since becoming a mother (without wanting to be overly public about it...) I have felt a lot of vulnerability in doing so, but it has also has given me more reason to look for the good, be grateful, and embrace joy and left me feeling more capable, confident, resilient and stronger all round. It's been a risk worth taking - I am loving my family and my life and everything in it right now!

I am not an island

No man or woman is an island, nor should we try to be. Human beings are born to be in relationship with other human beings. This is easy to see when we think about babies and young children, but I think sometimes as adults we forget how important it is for us too.

I, like any of you, have had my share of things in my life that have brought with them sadness, anxiety, etc... but I have realised (especially since becoming a mother) that the times when those negative feelings endure are when I have tried to 'deal with it' all myself, have perhaps been embarrassed, and have tried to convince myself that it's stupid to tell anyone or that I'm wrong to feel that way; on the other hand, when I surround myself with people who genuinely care and want to help - I am a strong, invincible woman... because I have these amazing people around me.

Sometimes we don't realise how much we need others until we let them in to our lives and our hearts - really let them in - present not just in our lives but in our hearts! I have realised that I need these people. People who have faced the challenges I have and come out on the other side. People who haven't had those challenges, but they care anyway. People who will also share their struggles with me and allow me to help them, or just be there to listen.

Often that is all you need - someone who will listen to you ramble on about all the things that make your days seem long and weary so that in verbalising it you can put it all in to perspective and realise that there is also much in life that makes each day sweet and memorable and full of joy.

Because there really is so, so, so, so, so, so much that is sweet and blessed about every day. We just have to not try to be an island. Coz no matter how beautiful it is, a deserted island can be a very lonely place to stay.

Thank you to my husband and the many other people in my life who have been ever dependable and have become an integral part of who I am. <3

Removing distractions

Recently I came to a realisation: I have so many things that I need to/want to/ can do with my time and I'm really not getting very far with many of them.

Obviously my highest priority is my family and home. I also have a church calling. I'm studying to complete my SACE. I'm taking music lessons and will be doing an exam in a few months, which I need to practise for. I'm trying to find the time to sew a quilt for Natalie. I want to blog and write more. There are other things I'd like to sew, and make, and bake, and do... there are people I want to spend time with. All of these are things I consider worthwhile and many of them I don't get to do enough of for my liking. There are also things less worthy of my time...

As you probably know, I recently removed my facebook profile. First of all I deactivated it, and then I was told that there actually is the option of completely deleting your facebook account, and so I went back on and did that. I had come to the realisation that it had become a distraction to the point where that negative (and a few others) outweighed the positives aspects of FB. I decided to test the theory that if I didn't have a FB account to look at when I felt like I didn't have enough energy and/or focus for anything much, that maybe I would find the energy instead. If not, I decided that even just sitting on the couch watching my girls play, or reading if they are in bed would be a better use of my time!

So that is one example of a distraction that I felt the need to eliminate. The time that has passed since I bit the bullet really has confirmed what I thought it would achieve - I have so much more focus. I spend less time wondering whether someone has replied to a message I wrote them and I don't get sidetracked by other things while I'm checking for those messages, because I just call them or text them and know that when they reply or call me back, I'll know...

So, inspire me - what are some of the distraction you've ditched recently?

I may just follow suit!

Growing with an eternal perspective

There is a quote that gives me faith that I can keep growing and change who I am in to who I should be and want to be.

Isn't it awesome? I decided the butterfly is a good symbol of what this quote says. Even if you think you're a caterpillar, you can become a butterfly!

As I was thinking more about my last blog post, I remembered a conversation I had once with a friend, Lee Worden. We had been to the temple (I think it was one of the first times she'd been there) and she was driving me home. She expressed her concern that, having found the gospel later in her adult life, she would never catch up to us who had been learning about it throughout our lives. I said something like, "You have eternity to catch up." She liked that. I miss you Lee!

As I thought about this experience, I realised that this principle doesn't only apply to people who are baptised and join the church later in their lives. It applies tTro all of us. When we start comparing ourselves to other people and feel like we may never be as good as them we should remember - we have eternity to catch up! I really like something that Elder Neil L. Andersen said about this - "Wherever you now find yourself on the road of discipleship, you are on the right road, the road toward eternal life."

Lightbulb! So, if you're on the road to discipleship, you don't have to feel somehow less than people who have travelled further along it - just keep on trekking! Elder Jeffrey R. Holland also said, "[The Lord's] concern is for the faith at which you finally arrive, not the hour of the day in which you got there."

I'm really grateful to have had time over the past week to really think about the things that are important to me... the people that really matter, the attributes I want to develop, and the things that I want to spend my time on - they've all been on my mind. I dare say I'll tell you more about them soon.  :-)

The things I didn't quite know

Ok, so.... there are some things which perhaps I knew already, but I wish hadn't taken so long to fully comprehend... or will I look back over the years and realise that now, as I write this, I still didn't quite get it?


Like all the times I've looked at Jonathan and been stunned with the thought that I'm sure I didn't even know what love was when I married him, or any day since - until that very moment... (obviously I loved him but it's like I didn't quite get it yet.)


Or when I've had the same feeling looking at my daughters... along with a deeper realisation of everything that it means to be a mother. Is it really possible that I could worry that much about these two tiny people who depend so much on me? Or that parenthood would be that hard but on the other hand worth it all? Or that I would, undoubtedly, give them my all without question?


Did I really understand before just how important human relationships are and that anything - really ANYTHING - can wait (at least for a little while) when a person needs you - most especially if those people are children who are counting on you to teach them their worth.


All of these are things that I sort of knew... in a way - and they're only a few examples picked out of many. They are the kind of things that people have said to me in the past and in some cases I would reply, "Yeah I know, BUT   _______" (fill in the blank)... they now have deeper root in my heart and hopefully for power than before!