#reverb12 Days 19 - 30

More answers to the #reverb12 challenge:



Day 19 - How did you nourish your beautiful body in 2012? What self-care practices will you take with you into 2013?

Hmm.. I can't say I've done a LOT of caring for my body this year, or in the past generally... but I did start seeing the chiropractor - does that count? It's my way of caring about myself instead of always ignoring all the aches and pains (and there tend to be a lot of them)!

For the new year I want to either get a bike or do a lot more walking! That is difficult since we don't really live in comfortable walking distance of much now and it also means a lot more time management issues... but if the weather is ok, we can just walk for the sake of it when we've got nowhere else to be.  :)



Day 20 - What was lost in 2012? What do you intend to find in 2013?

Lost in 2012? I'm not really sure how to answer this question... I think I lost a lot of self-doubt - that's a good loss!

In 2013 I intend to find more time for other people. I feel that in 2012 I've been so caught up in only just managing my own life - the sweet and not so sweet bits - that I haven't had / found enough opportunities to be there for other people. I'm becoming more aware of this need within myself to know how I can bless others and follow through on that too. :) I have been so blessed by love - the love of family and friends, and through them God's love - and, knowing how it has enriched my life, I honestly want to be able to give that back to the people around me.


Day 21 - What items did you tick off your dream list in 2012? What other, unexpected, dreams came to fruition? What are the top three items on your dream list for 2013?

I think I did more surviving than achieving dreams this year, and I am ok with that! I have done a fair bit of goal setting in the past few months though. I don't know which (if any) of these will come to complete fruition in 2013, but they are things I will be working toward:

- Finishing my SACE

- Doing grade 7 and 8 piano exams and then getting my diploma!

- Jonathan and I will also be working toward buying a house :)

Day 22 - What was the greatest gift you received in 2012? What was the greatest gift you gave? What do you intend to give yourself in 2013?

This year I received the gift of friendship in great abundance. It has been such a blessing to have new friendships develop as well as a strengthening of continuing friendships. I've also been trying to give that same gift to those around me. It is a gift that blesses the giver as well as the receiver! ... and sometimes (more often than not?) you are on both ends of the equation at once! :D

The gift that I intend to give myself in 2013 is... grace. That's all about not expecting perfection all the time - but I've spoken plenty about that so I'll leave it for now. :)

Day 23 - Name three excuses -- stories you tell yourself that are holding you back -- that you are going to let go of in 2013.

Personally, I think I'm pretty good at not giving myself excuses...

Off the top of my head, I do want to stop excusing myself for not taking good enough care of my own body though. As I have mentioned before, I'm going to need it for the rest of my life! So I do need to look at how I'm going to put physical exercise in to my week and how I can further improve my eating habits.



Day 24 - What is the single most important habit you intend to cultivate in 2013?

Single most important? This is another one that I'm struggling to find an answer for... One that I know is important and I need to develop further is the idea of mindfulness or intentionality: being in and enjoying the blessing of the moment. In the past I know I have spent far too much time rushing on to the next thing so that I can conquer that 'to-do list' and not nearly enough time just enjoying everything that is around me. Time to change.



Day 25 - How will you be vulnerable?

The soft white underbelly, the flaw in the armor, the Achilles' heel -- weaknesses are what make us the most human, the most beautiful.
Next year, how will you tend to your vulnerabilities? How will you build them a shelter from the storm? How will you put them through physical therapy? How will you find a way to make them work to your advantage? 

I have issues with vulnerability. I'm not comfortable with it at all. I have always tended to avoid it at all costs. I've had this habit of not even admitting to myself when there are things in my life that are causing me grief/anxiety, etc... Honestly, I know a couple of people who I feel seemed to realise when I was unhappy before I'd even acknowledged it myself... and I would persist in saying that I was perfectly fine - all to avoid vulnerability I suppose.

In 2013, and now, I will be working on trust. Trust in other people will be a shelter of sorts. Fortunately I have a husband who, over the past four years that I've known him, I have learnt to trust and I do confide in. I know I could, if I were willing, extend that trust to others and I intend to do so when I have that need.

And here I am splashing out my vulnerability on to your computer screen!

Day 26 - How do you intend to carve out more time for the things that are the most important to you in 2013?

I have learned, primarily through the example and encouragement of my husband, the importance of goal setting. I've often heard him say, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail" (or something of the sort).

In 2013 I will be continuing the habit of setting goals and planning for the things that I want to achieve!


Day 27 - How did you make time for creativity in 2012?

Looking back, is there one creative time or one particular creation that stands out for you? (Maybe you could share it here?) How will you continue (or start) making time and space for your creative passions in 2013?

I didn't get to share it with many people, but this Christmas season I wrote an arrangement to one of my favourite Christmas Hymns and I would have to say I'm quite happy with it! It was a fun and rewarding process and I do hope that I will one day have the opportunity to use it and hear it come to life. :)

Since my piano lessons finished for the year (my teacher always breaks over the Christmas holidays) I haven't been practising the piano much at all, but I intend to start that again this week. I want to progress so I make time for it everyday even if that means getting up really early.



Day 28 - Think of three things that daunted you in 2012: how are you going to work towards overcoming them in 2013?

I am enjoying the process of #reveb12... but some of these questions are really hard to answer. I guess that's the point though - you have to really reflect.

Hmm. Sometimes my older daughter's behaviour is quite daunting. My emotions have been daunting at times. :P 'Keeping up' has been daunting too. Maybe I'm not thinking very hard about this question (the 'catch up' on answering them has been time consuming) but they have all daunted me at one time or another. 

I think with anything that daunts you you have to either come up with strategies to change / deal with the situation... or you have to embrace it. Some things that are daunting aren't actually bad, and once you accept them they can become beautiful.



Day 29 - What word did you select to be your travelling companion in 2012? What gifts did this word bring? What word will you choose to guide you through 2013? What do you hope it will bring into your life?

I didn't pick a word specifically for 2012... some words that come to mind that followed me throughout the year are: grow, change and intentional. Intentional has been one of the most important.

For 2013 I would like to use the word courage. Courage to hold fast to moral values. I want to remember that wrong is wrong no matter who is doing it, and that right is right no matter who isn't doing it and to say how I feel.

I want to be remember to be bold - immediately and not at the last possible moment, which is sometimes too late anyway. I want to have courage that will make it easier to stand up for others and to stand alone when I have to. That courage may be borne of knowing that I am never alone anyway.

I hope this courage will also help me to try new things, and to persevere in achieving my goals even in those difficult moments when those goals seem unattainable.

Day 30 - Often we see our life as a humongous journey, and we believe that not only have we not arrived at our far away desired destination, but we also think we must accomplish x, y, and z, before we can declare with satisfaction that we are THERE.
For a moment, take a close look at who you are NOW. See what you can declare.
Merge the past, present, and future into one big ARRIVAL.
Describe joyously and in great celebration the BEING that you ARE. 
(If you like, try writing this in third person as if you were a news reporter and this article about you is appearing in a publication you love and respect.)

Simply, I have arrived at being happy. I don't think that requires a lot of words to explain.
Yes, there are things that are uncomfortable in life. Yes, I have imperfections - there are things I need to change. But the difficult things don't define my life. My imperfections don't define me....

and I can be happy!

Reverb day 5 - Dream Destination

What was your dream destination in 2012 and why? 
It can be a town, city, country or region -- real or imaginary -- and doesn't matter if you actually got there or not!


Dream destination... oh, these questions are impossible sometimes! haha.

To be honest, Jonathan and I have occasionally discussed the idea of moving interstate or even overseas to find different work opportunities for him - and part of me thinks that idea is exciting... particularly living in the UK for a while I think would be great! BUT, then I think about my life right here where we're living and I feel that even if it were a financially viable option for us, I just couldn't do it. I love it here too much.

It's partly about the geographical location - I'm so patriotic and love Australia and SA so much, but there is more to it than that. It is also where a large part of our family live, so that's one huge thing for starters. But it's even more than that.

I love Prospect Ward (where we attend church) and everyone in it. I'm so grateful for all the friends I've made there in the past 3 years, and can't imagine thriving so much not being surrounded by them all, often. The idea of even moving a few suburbs away and being in another ward can send me in to a panic attack - as it did when we were house-hunting at the end of last year. (Yay, we just renewed our lease for another 12 months!) I don't know if we'll be lucky enough to always be in Prospect Ward, but I'm so not ready to let go right now! haha

There are also the community things I've been attending that have been such a blessing, and have helped me so much as an individual and as a mother. This year I began the process of completing my SACE - once and for all! - and as I only did one subject and want to continue in 2013, that is an important factor in considering where my dream location is. There are other playgroups and classes I've attended at the same place (CaFE Enfield Children's Centre) that have been a huge blessing to me. Since I've written about that before, maybe I won't go in to the specifics... I've also been participating in a program at Gilles Plains to do with Natalie's speech. It has given me a really holistic approach in how to interact with both my girls and help them with all aspects of their development though, and although I'm sure these programs are run elsewhere, a lot of what I've learned was specifically from the women who run the group that I'm sure I wouldn't have gotten elsewhere. (On a side note, Natalie is talking SO MUCH these days.)

Those are just a few examples of the things that really make my dream location HERE. Right HERE. The more I think about it, the more I see that Heavenly Father knows exactly where we need to be to help us grow and to thrive despite the challenges that he gives us to help us grow.


On a fun note, there are lots of places that I would like to visit and I really can't pick just 1... but my hubby and I were just discussing how awesome it would be to go to France and see the Louvre and Notre Dame and the Eiffel tower. Italy would be cool too. But let's face it, I just want to see the world (eventually)! I'm a sucker for history. I'd love to see the pyramids in Egypt, The Great Wall of China, and the list could go on and on...

I am not an island

No man or woman is an island, nor should we try to be. Human beings are born to be in relationship with other human beings. This is easy to see when we think about babies and young children, but I think sometimes as adults we forget how important it is for us too.

I, like any of you, have had my share of things in my life that have brought with them sadness, anxiety, etc... but I have realised (especially since becoming a mother) that the times when those negative feelings endure are when I have tried to 'deal with it' all myself, have perhaps been embarrassed, and have tried to convince myself that it's stupid to tell anyone or that I'm wrong to feel that way; on the other hand, when I surround myself with people who genuinely care and want to help - I am a strong, invincible woman... because I have these amazing people around me.

Sometimes we don't realise how much we need others until we let them in to our lives and our hearts - really let them in - present not just in our lives but in our hearts! I have realised that I need these people. People who have faced the challenges I have and come out on the other side. People who haven't had those challenges, but they care anyway. People who will also share their struggles with me and allow me to help them, or just be there to listen.

Often that is all you need - someone who will listen to you ramble on about all the things that make your days seem long and weary so that in verbalising it you can put it all in to perspective and realise that there is also much in life that makes each day sweet and memorable and full of joy.

Because there really is so, so, so, so, so, so much that is sweet and blessed about every day. We just have to not try to be an island. Coz no matter how beautiful it is, a deserted island can be a very lonely place to stay.

Thank you to my husband and the many other people in my life who have been ever dependable and have become an integral part of who I am. <3

Friends

Ode to My Friends

Some of you I have known for as long as I can remember
Others I have known for only a short while
Sometimes I find strength in the silent understanding between us
Knowing that you know my past, and understand where I've walked
And the things that make me me
Other times the blessing is that you are learning who I am now
Without the prejudice of who I have been
And yet at other times, you know my past but see how far I have come and can yet go
Believing the best and forgiving the rest
Helping me to be confident in who I am

Thank you for your friendship
Thank you for being there to help carry things that seemed too hard to bear
Thank you for celebrating my joys and successes
Thanks for knowing just what to say
Thanks for doing anything you can, even when I didn't want to ask
Thanks for being there at your own expense
Thanks for encouraging me to just be me
And for telling me that that is enough


Every day I thank God for friends like you!
You, my beautiful friends.